rhyan has his final baseball game of the fall season at four this afternoon … then he’s off to his dad’s for their annual trick-or-treat excursion. since his dad and i split nine years ago, halloween has always been their holiday. which is alright, because he comes home with tons of candy and scary stories the following day.
tonight one of my oldest, dearest friends and i are meeting up with friends for some grown up halloween fun. not gonna lie, our costumes will be pretty damn fantastic.
rhyan and i had a sleepover with her and the kids last night, all five of us fell asleep in their king size bed watching a movie and woke up this morning brainstorming costume ideas. we came up with two good ones, without spending a dime on ‘em. all the materials needed are at her house, in the garage.
Yesterday, I was at a Starbucks in Raleigh and I saw someone get out of her car, and for a split second, it looked like you. So I got super excited. Then she turned around and I could clearly see it wasn't. Then I was sad. Dang.
Well, so you know. I’m now sad too, after reading this.
I wish it was me, but this is proof we need to gather the Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill Tumblrs for a meet-up.
it’s difficult for me to put into words what aunt sue meant to me. uncle keith was always my heart and soul, she was the one who kept us in line.
i remember sitting at the wooden nickel after uncle keith’s memorial service, holding her hand. she was wearing his class ring, worn out from years of work. as she looked around, observing all the family and friends who had gathered for a drink she said, “he’s here. i’ve felt him beside me all night, and this is exactly how he would’ve wanted it.” we cried together, we laughed together. and i can’t help but think now … how would she want it? what were her thoughts on passing? how are we to celebrate her life? and whose hand am i going to hold this time around?
the next time i saw her at the nickel, which was weeks later … i looked into her eyes and melted into tears. i saw uncle keith shining through her, and couldn’t help but break down right there in the middle of our local watering hole. to see this incredible woman, losing her best friend, her husband of 36 years, and still have such a peace about her.
i can’t imagine how difficult the memorial service is going to be tomorrow. it’s being held in the local high school, where she taught history for the past 33 years. the auditorium holds 800, and there are countless more expected.
i’m going to lose it. my little brother is coming up from south carolina, as is two of my sisters in school at the beach and in the mountains. the family will be there, thank goodness. because i’ve been holding in my emotions, holding it in because it doesn’t feel real. i don’t want to think she’s gone, i don’t want to believe it. but it’s happened, and all we can do is continue on, keep her memory alive. and smile through the tough times, just as she did.
aunt sue, you will forever be in my heart and i know you are at peace, with your beloved keith … i cannot mourn, but only be happy. you’re home.
she was welcomed home by her husband, uncle keith … she’s in a better place now, she’s reunited with her lifelong love. and i think since his passing a couple years ago, she was ready to meet him again. there’s comfort in knowing that.
we’ll all miss her presence in our life. her kids no longer have their mother, her grandkids won’t grow up with their grandmother. it’s something we don’t want to think about. something we can’t imagine living through. but somehow, someway, life goes on. life continues on it’s track, and we somehow adapt. adjust. overcome these difficult obstacles.
send your prayers if you would. for the family who is left to live without her. for the friends who lost a dear friend. for the hundreds of students she taught at the local high school over the past twenty plus years. for all the lives she touched, who are left to carry on with only her memory. for peace.
after waking up to this news, i was told hours later that i had been misinformed.
my aunt sue was actually still fighting for her life. still in the ICU, on life support.
after being told she had passed away, i received news she was actually alive.
talk about a shock to the system. i feel like i was knocked down, and picked back up again. i’m asking you to please, send your prayers her way. her body is shutting down, her kidney/liver is failing and they’re giving her until tomorrow morning to show some sort of improvement. we’re praying she’ll beat the odds.
i had so many things i wanted needed to get done today. for a minute i just had to lay on my bed and let the thoughts flow. say some prayers, and push forward.
and what a productive day we ended up having.
my closet and rhyan’s closets are both cleaned out. we went shopping for his warm winter wardrobe. i enjoyed a spiced pumpkin latte while helping rhy find the jeans that fit him just right.
marta was in town for a memorial service and a funeral, so she stopped by after and we finally had chubby’s for the first time. i literally wanna slap myself for not going sooner. hands-down the best tacos i’ve had in a long while. they did not disappoint. pictures and recap to follow.
i’m keeping up with aunt sue’s progress via family members and friends, and we’re all hoping for a miracle.
here’s to a roller coaster of a sunday. here’s to miracles. and here’s to tacos.