this was the first halloween rhyan decided he didn’t want to dress up, because he felt he was just too old. [read: it’s no longer cool, but definitely a phase] since he was little, halloween has always been a tradition shared with his dad, who took him to their usual spots for trick-or-treating & i went out with friends to  enjoy the night on my own. so while he was away last night i took it upon myself to dig up some pictures of halloweens past. while i found a bunch of photos with him in his costumes over the years, i also came across this beautiful photo and couldn’t stop gazing. it amazes me how much he’s changed since this was taken, how much i’ve changed since it was taken. as i watch friends around me have babies, watch their little ones grow over weeks and months … this photo takes me right back to when i was a new mom. a nineteen year old mom with an adorable blue eyed/blonde haired boy who relied on me for everything. now that he’s almost twelve he relies on me for very little, and while i embrace him growing up & being independent — i long for those days when i could hold him in my arms for hours, breathing in the scent of my beautiful baby boy.

this was the first halloween rhyan decided he didn’t want to dress up, because he felt he was just too old. [read: it’s no longer cool, but definitely a phase]

since he was little, halloween has always been a tradition shared with his dad, who took him to their usual spots for trick-or-treating & i went out with friends to  enjoy the night on my own.

so while he was away last night i took it upon myself to dig up some pictures of halloweens past. while i found a bunch of photos with him in his costumes over the years, i also came across this beautiful photo and couldn’t stop gazing.

it amazes me how much he’s changed since this was taken, how much i’ve changed since it was taken. as i watch friends around me have babies, watch their little ones grow over weeks and months … this photo takes me right back to when i was a new mom. a nineteen year old mom with an adorable blue eyed/blonde haired boy who relied on me for everything.

now that he’s almost twelve he relies on me for very little, and while i embrace him growing up & being independent — i long for those days when i could hold him in my arms for hours, breathing in the scent of my beautiful baby boy.